Now that the program is coming to a close, it is time to finish up our groups and start thinking about the leaving process which I will dwell more on in next week's post when it is really the end. For now, just a few anecdotes from the past couple of weeks! We recently had a campaign for women's rights in which the women brought up gender discrimination conflicts in their areas and we brought a speaker to explain what options the women have. About a hundred women came and listened to the speaker and shared how their husbands only send the boys to school, lock the women in their homes sometimes, and continue to use the family's only money on alcohol for themselves. The speaker was a very strong woman herself and encouraged the women to join together and confront their husbands or go to the police because if they do not try then who will. The next day I was at another women's campaign against domestic violence where a police man spoke about these same options. One woman in the group stood up and said that half the time the women go to the police they have to bribe them or the police are friendly with the husband and do not listen. Recently, one of the chief police in Nepal killed his wife which doesn't really send the most "come tell us your wifely problems" to the women of Nepal. Another woman mentioned that when the police do come, they try to mediate between the husband and wife but in these cases after the police leaves, the abuse usually gets worse because he is angry she called the police in the first place. I certainly do not have an answer for these women as didn't the police man but these are all conflicts to consider and only make me want to work in this field even more.
  We recently also made a breakfast with the women from the stone quarry and over 40 women came to our house. They work cutting stones everyday so it was nice for them to take a couple of hours out of their day and come and cook and dance. Some had to walk over an hour to get there and probably lost some money that day for not breaking as many stones but they came anyways and stayed for over 4 hours. Being around these women probably empowers me more than I am able to do for them but either way it was a wonderful day for everyone there. I could talk all day about cultural differences I have experienced but the most clear one came that day when the women could not believe we forgot to bring chilis to put in the salad and one went and came back with over 40 chilis that made my mouth swell and eyes water just looking at them but proceeded to cut them and put every piece in the salad and rice. Women came who had never come to a meeting before and the next day when we had our weekly women, 20 women came instead of the usual 10 and they only came a half hour late instead of an hour! (You take what you can get when it comes to time in Nepal)
  Dancing is something I have never been so good at except for maybe the chacha slide and the salsa I pretend to know but since coming to this village I have learned that when it comes to Nepali dancing, I really don't know  what I am doing and yet I find myself being corned everywhere I am to move my arms and hips to music that does not exist and then watch as the women laugh. At the beginning I thought maybe I was getting the moves and they wanted me to dance because they were impressed but I quickly learned that they woo me with their "Please dance chulebule, you're so good!" (chule bule: naughty goat in Nepali which they still call me eventhough I explained my new name is princess but that just doesn't have the same kick to them) just so they can laugh and then show me the actual way. I soon learned however that because our language barrier is so great, that dancing and laughing are ways to connect without words and the women so want to connect with you that they use these methods. When I looked at in this way, I started to appreciate the beauty of these moments and will actually miss being stopped on the street and be asked to dance. It used to embarrass me but once you have danced on a rice field in front of 40 farmers or at a women's event in front of the Chief of Police of the district, you learn to forget about the fact that you look like you swimming in the air and just have fun with it and dance to the laughter and clapping of the women surrounding you. I may not be able to always tell the women how much I appreciate them and the work they do, but I know I can always make them smile by a simple sway of my hip and for now, that will have to be enough.

New year

Hello again, and happy New Year! There is so much to write but this will be a short one with a few spelling mistakes do to the fact that the internet  and power here have a habit of turning off right before you press 'save'. It has been getting more busy here and now that we only have about a month of volunteering left we are trying to fit in as much as possible. The concept itself seems strange to be throwing lots of events together so we can get them all done before we leave when the people we are working with are here all the time and who have to handle one event every week and then no events for another long period of time. On the other hand, we are trying to provide as much as we can with the time we have and at least most people enjoy the events. Our latest event was a campaign to stand against domestic violence. Women from all of the women's groups we lead all came together and we had speakers from the health post, a police man, as well as a couple of women wjo work in NGOs in the area to come and speak. Each women's group did a song as well and my girl's group (girls age 14 to 20) prepared a small play about the topic that they performed. Many of the problems in this area come from husbands who drink too much and either use most of the family money for alcohol and/or come home drunk and abuse their wives and children. Ironically during the event, a drunken man came over and started yelling and laughing at the women which only proved the importance of the event. one challenge we faced was how to present the part about what to do about the problem. there are few (although it is increasing) places for women to run to and most will not so I am still not sure what a good solution is. I was lucky enouigh to wear a Sari that one of the women lent me and felt like a Nepali queen (minus the Reebok sneakers on my feet, waaay too cold for flipflpos). It was definitely a challenge to walk gracefully in, and I was definitely put to shame as I moved like a penguin and looked up to see 15 women coming down the mountain as if it were a runway. Despite the complexity of the topic, the women seemed to enjoy themselves as did the volunteers and any excuse for the women to dance and for me to wear a Sari is one we all will take.
    Two weeks ago I went to visit a very interesting NGO that helps women who have been burned by their family members and it really threw me for a loop. When some women in Nepal get married, they move into their husband's parents house and there is usually problems with the mother- in-law, in terms of jealousy, or it may be that the wife's family was not able to pay enough dowry for the husband's family's liking. In the most extreme cases, women are doused in kerosene and lit on fire by their husbands and the mother in law is usually there to encourage it. If the woman does not die, she is sometimes taken to the hospital where she is dropped off. Some women have no one to even come back for them and the hospital tries to find some alternative but let's just say the social services int his country are quite minimal. The women are told to say it was a suicide attempt as to not get their "families" in trouble and they are usually shunned from their communities. The woman may be blamed for not being a good wife or daughter-in-law and the topic is very taboo. When I asked the nurse at the hospital what the leading cause of the burning came from she replied, "Poverty". Last time I checked there are plenty of poor people all over the world who have nothing to do with burning at all and it is a shame that the nurses cannot even talk about what is really going on. Luckily there are a few NGOs to help the women and the burn ward int he hospital looked like they have some good services. To be fair, this also only happens farther out in certain villages and the number is decreasing. I am not really sure what to make of it all but it certainly made me appreciate my family relations a lot more and think about the concept of divorce and marriage as well. As crazy as it may be in the United States, at least for many there is a way out. Since divorce is also somewhat taboo here, extreme measures can be used and a common theme I keep running into is how important lucky most of us are to have the power to choose most aspects of our lives (more to come on this topic in the future).
       This past weekend i went to a Nepali festival for New years and it was nice to see that most of the people there were actually Nepali, and the tourists were outnumbered. On the bus ride over, there were no seats so I sat on the floor. As time went on, I moved positions four times as each time someone tried to make space so that my seat would be a little more comfortable. Each time I found myself next to someone else with a different story and it was so nice to see how many people were looking out for me so I would be more comfortable. My most terrifying spot was the one next to (or should I say on top of) the driver in which he let me help him move the gears. For those of you that do not know, I just got my license, and let me tell you that road test is nothing like driving a Nepali bus on a road where there are no lanes. After a couple of nervous giggles and just slightly avoiding a crash, one of my first friends who was sitting on the seat net to me from the floor offered to share with him and the person next to him and I figured it would be better to be smushed than, well who knows. the long ride was worth it because that next morning i was able to see the sunrise over the Himalayas in colors that I did not even know existed and it was a very special new years. I hope you all have a happy and fulfilling New Year!